Love Never Fails

“I once was blind, but now I see.”  Have you ever had that experience?  I had one recently and I’d like to share it. 

I am involved with a prayer/healing ministry at my church and I have the privilege of participating on teams which met with people who desire an in-depth prayer experience.  We come together expecting God to be there because we know that in ourselves alone, we have nothing but an hour of kind sympathy and good intentions to offer.  We meet trusting God for the promises of His Word, expecting to see lives changed by the finished work of Jesus on the cross. 

This particular time the one who had called was being overwhelmed by some pain that she could no longer hide.  Trying to cover up or just “move on” beyond things that had happened in the past was no longer possible.  They were hidden away for a reason, but she couldn’t keep them there anymore.

relentless, powerful waves illustrate God's dependability

When this started happening to me personally I found that things in my life were causing reactions all out of proportion to the situation.  It felt so right to feel the way I did, but I had friends who could see more objectively.  It is so hard when this happens, but it can be such a blessing if you trust that God is in it and that He allows pain to surface for a purpose.  He wants us to be free and whole so hurt places must be opened up and cleaned out.  Lies of the enemy, fear, and shame are removed just like an infection in a wound.  So in our ministry we believe that God is ready, willing and able to bring healing and restoration when someone comes seeking help.  I was able to say confidently to my sister, “It’s time.”

We prayed surrendering our own agenda, our judgements, our conclusions, our ideas.  We asked for the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Jesus to take charge of the hour.  He was so faithful to bring our hurting friend through steps of healing.  All of us were blessed by His presence and love.

"...in him there is no darkness at all" 1John 1:5b

Later in the evening at home, I began to feel unsettled.  When I went to bed I was restless.  Thoughts about my weight and eating began picking away at me.  This is an ongoing issue.  I am not terribly overweight, but my eating and my weight go up and down and threaten to get out of hand.  When that happens I become afraid that I am out of control and that my size will balloon up and up.  I feel shame about my failures.  It doesn't make sense to be so afraid of something like this, but it can hang over me almost like death.

As I prayed about it, I realized that I felt helpless about ever making a permanent change in this pattern.  What felt true was that I will always be a victim because I am unable to make another choice.  This is where the light went on.  I suddenly thought "I’m feeling as if I do not have the power to make decisions for myself.  I don’t mean that it felt like my will was to do the wrong thing, I felt I had none at all.

That lie was obvious to me.  God created us in His image and that includes a will.  It makes us human and it is honored by God Himself.  Even He does not violate our free will so it must be very important.

Finding that we are agreeing with unbiblical thoughts is a great step.  I saw hope immediately.  I did not have to lie down in acceptance of my predicament.  I immediately started telling myself the truth.  I have a will and I am not trapped in any way.  My will is to believe and trust God!  I may not be experiencing consistent victory yet, but it has been won by Jesus Christ on my behalf.  Every child of God is in position to receive the deliverance of God.  By the stripes of Jesus we are healed - spiritually, emotionally and physically.  No problem is too great for Him and no person is excluded from His compassionate mercy and grace.

The reason this night was so special was its connection to being in the presence of God’s love so powerfully earlier that day. It was palpable.  My spirit had been strengthened and my faith was increased by that.  My sense of who I am as God’s beloved daughter could not co-exist with the message of being a victim, bound and empty of her birthright - a  healthy and functioning will.

Weeks later, I can say that my fear is still gone.  I'm not in the best place eating-wise right now, but I do not feel doomed, desperate or helpless.  I have real hope (assurance) that I will overcome.  The fruit of the spirit includes self-control, and God's love will continue to replace whatever need I try to fill with eating.  Exercise is looking a lot more attractive, too!

Whatever our struggles, God’s love is the answer.  That’s a blanket statement, but I do believe it.  I’ve seen how healing begins to flow when a person's heart is touched by God's pure and unqualified love for them personally.  Being in the presence of His love changes how we see.  It pours light into blind spots where lies can operate without being discovered.  Circumstances may or may not change right away, but we are not the same in them.  We begin walking in their midst with different responses because we are not the same on the inside.  The Gospel is that God's grace is here to make that change.

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." (Luke 19:10)  
Save: "sozo" - to deliver, protect, heal, make whole