The danger of trying to be good

I’ve been blogging about obedience and how it comes from a heart of love and trust.  It comes from trust that God will not ask us to obey in anything that is truly and ultimately harmful to us.  It may be hard.  It may require sacrifice.  But God is always good and His sovereignty is working towards good.  Even in the Cross – especially in the Cross – God was bringing great good out of very evil events.  I have been “arguing” for the power of God’s love to bring us into surrender of our own way, and into obedience which leads to the most abundant life we could ever have.

But now let's look at the flip side.  What if we are pursuing goodness wholeheartedly and thinking that we have made progress?  What if our pursuit leads to impatience with the failures of others to cooperate with or live up to our view of what is right?  It's good to see that in our obedience we are becoming better and better, right?  Isn't God pleased with this?

Let me ask another question.  Why did Jesus reserve his harshest words for the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law?  Was it not because they considered themselves much better than the ‘common sinners’ and because they measured their righteousness by their own standards?  They had the law of God, but they missed His heart by a mile in their “obedience”.

It may be true that others need to change, and sometimes we begin to recognize their needs as our own life changes and our vision becomes clearer.  We may encounter things that bother us more than they did before we got "cleaned up".  But if our hearts are being changed, those things begin to arouse compassion, not condemnation. 

Jesus used the analogy of the vine and the branches to teach his disciples how true goodness comes about.  He said “Remain in me, and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself;” (John 17:4a) and “apart from me you can do nothing” (vs.5b).  The fruit of the Spirit, by whom we are connected with Jesus, is “love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, etc.   These qualities come from the Holy Spirit in us and the results (fruit) of living them cannot be self-generated.

Looks good, but it's not real

When a believer is trying to produce good behavior and compliance in himself, or motivate others to do so, he is in danger if he becomes disconnected from the ‘Vine” in the process.  If self-effort seems to be working, the “fruit” is self-righteousness and pride which can easily become haughty, judgmental and condemning of others who don’t try as hard or as “successfully” as he has.  Right away we can see that the “fruit” is rotten.

Behind self-effort can be misunderstanding of our condition as human beings.  We are fallen creatures living in a fallen world and it is only Jesus in us that makes a difference.  I used to try to be perfect because I actually thought I could be good enough if I tried hard enough.  My inevitable failures only cemented my sense of unworthiness and my need to hide my true (and unacceptable) self.  On the other hand, if I was able to make something work, I wanted others to do the same so it would be easier for all of us.  Whichever end of the stick we are holding there's an expectation that life should work if we all just try.  But that is forgetting that without the grace of God working in our hearts we are self-centered  and lost.  The world is never going to cooperate with our agenda for goodness (or with God’s) apart from the saving grace of Jesus’ work on the cross and surrender to the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. This applies in our marriages, our families, our friendships, our work and our church.

(source unknown) 

So what are we to do about all the problems we see?  Or what am I to do if someone says that I am the problem?  There is an answer that applies to both situations.  It is to confess and repent of everything that hinders my connection to the Vine.  I don’t have to fix these things, just tell the Lord that I know they are keeping me from abiding in him and being filled with the fruit of the Spirit. I can thank him by faith for transforming me from within and pray that the other person will be blessed to receive God’s love as well.  People may conform for a time because of fear or shame, but they are transformed by mercy. A transformed heart is able to show mercy to the next person and so the love of God spreads.

Is there a danger in trying to be good?  I think the answer is in "trying".  Desiring to be good is from God but becoming good happens through humble trusting surrender to His love. The "work" is in laying down whatever keeps us locked up in pride or fear or control. Once we lay that down God does what only He can accomplish - give us a new life!

at the Grand Canyon!

When I surrendered the need for change in myself to Jesus, counting on Him to work, I felt gratitude rather than self-satisfaction for the results.   Rather than making demands of others, I saw Jesus was the source of hope for all of us.  It's all about Jesus - and that's why he deserves the glory!


Note: For an excellent teaching on grace and law in relationships click here:  Prodigal Grace Part 2 (10/28/12)

An Example

Last time I blogged about how an unclear view of God hinders our trust and how we can be set free to know Him and obey Him when hurt places in our hearts are healed.  Today, I want to share a recent example of how this happened to me.

My dear husband, Dan, who was introduced in a past blog, lost his job about 3 years ago.  He is a CPA and left a national firm to work for one of his client’s about 15 years ago so that he could spend more time at home as our daughter was growing up.  Then his employer lost the business and Dan had to be let go. 

After much prayer we decided that he would not go back to an accounting firm, but would pursue the desire to have his own CPA practice.  We trusted that God would bring clients and He has done that.  As anyone who is self-employed knows, it takes many hours of investment to establish the business, and for us it is taking a long time to replace what we lost and restore the income we once had.  That is the background for what happened.

One morning this week my day began with awareness of the many repairs that are needed in our almost 50 year old home.  These have been on hold for longer than I care to admit.  They are used by the enemy regularly to tempt me to worry – and he often succeeds.

is danger lurking below the surface?

I had a friend who was afraid of being sick because any little thing sent her mind racing ahead to all the terrible possibilities.  In two or three leaps of “faith” she could see herself on the gurney rolling down the corridors of the hospital nearing death’s door.  I have a similar scenario that jumps up to grab my peace involving our house and not being able to fix it or sell it to move somewhere smaller and less expensive.

On this day I also remembered that my credit card had been declined the day before.  At the time I simply used a different one, but now that small thing was triggering ominous forebodings.  I could feel myself sliding downward into fear of the future.

This is where good habits kicked in.  I have learned not to try to figure it out myself.  I have learned not to shame myself for being crazy.  I have learned not to deny or “stuff” the feelings.  What I have learned to do is run straight to the Lord! 

thorny places... yet a garden

I grabbed a pen and a scrap of paper and concentrated on what I was feeling, as unpleasant as that was.  Because I have practiced this so much over many years of healing from depression and anxiety, I know how to listen to my soul and to God.  I wrote “fear of not being provided for” and “fear sudden BAD changes”.  This wasn’t an intellectual assessment of my “problem” but a description of how I felt.  It can help to realize where seemingly irrational feelings come from, but it isn’t a prerequisite to receiving from the Lord.  The important thing is going to Him in the midst of your conflict or trouble. 

I prayed to the Lord, expressing my faith that He was listening and knew what was going on with me.  I asked Him why I was afraid of sudden change and not being taken care of or provided for right now at the beginning of this day.  I asked because all of my good sense, not to mention my faith, should be telling me that I am blessed, secure, and fine.  I was reminded, in my mind, of fears I have faced with the Lord before – of being new at all the schools I moved to, of not having anyone who told me I was going to be okay, of seeing my father be unemployed, our car traded in for what we called the “junker” and many other similar things. 

lost?

My mind was thinking, “this isn’t new”.  But being in kindergarten at a new school in Los Angeles and not knowing which bus to get on to go home came to mind.  I was afraid I wouldn’t get home, and this place was so new and so big.  I wasn’t even sure where I lived!  I had no friends to ask.  I didn’t know where my teacher was.

It is at this point, as a prayer minister, that we ask the person to see if they sense Jesus in the picture of what they are remembering.  I silently asked Jesus if he was there and if he would help me.  This is what I heard in my heart and wrote on my scrap of paper:  “What if I go to school with you?  And go with you to lunch, and coming home, and never leave your side for the rest of your life?”  WOW!

Our Father designed this!

No matter how many times I go to the Lord and no matter how little my expectations might be, He always surprises me!  This was more than I could ask or think at the time.  If you look at it scripturally, it’s not such a surprise.  I ‘know’ Jesus will never leave me or forsake me.  I know his very name means “God with us”.  But this was so personal!  He spoke this to a scared little girl and to a grown up girl who still struggles with knowing a Father who abundantly provides and loves to comfort her.

Because I was connected in the spirit with Jesus I knew that the One who is in charge of the entire universe was offering and promising to go with me holding my hand everywhere for the rest of my life!  I needed to take time to consider how this could change my perceptions of myself in the world and of the world itself!  This is the power of an encounter with the Lord.

Perhaps you are wondering if it has made a difference to me.  Yes, it has.  Later that very day I was able to initiate a conversation with someone close to me who had withdrawn in our relationship.  I was able to listen without defensiveness, share with honesty, and see our conflict resolved.  The Lord used this conversation to convict me with gentleness and help me know more about someone that I love very much.  It has resulted in seeing how to pray for this person more effectively.  

I still must remind myself of Jesus’ presence, but I am able to see choices I can make because it is true.  I am turning to the Lord in greater confidence that I can wait to see how He will provide for some immediate practical things.  It also gave me the courage to speak up in a group of people who have been intimidating in the past.

I have seen and believe that any amount of truth that replaces the lies and distortions of the enemy results in a cascade of new thinking and opens new possibilities.  I know God has more to say to us personally than we can ever imagine or think.  He’s inviting us to ask Him!

Obstacles to obedience

"Are you sure?"

Are you one of those people who cringe at the word obedience?  Because I grew up feeling on my own emotionally, I developed trust in myself to know what was best for me.  I was obedient in the sense that I wanted to please adults and not get into trouble, but it was to protect myself from rejection and shame.  I believed that if I never caused a problem I could be secure.  As soon as I was old enough to experience alternatives to the way my family lived, I left to try them out.   On the other hand someone with the confidence to believe they will measure up may be motivated by rewards and praise which may have been used to manipulate them.  And on yet another hand, obedience can be manipulated by the fear of punishment if you have encountered harsh discipline from authorities in your life.  In any case, the Bible itself says that the law actually triggers resistance to submission and that is why God wanted to remove it from His relationship with us.  

 

sweet dove

Genuine obedience comes from trust that whoever is in charge has your best interest at heart and is blessing you with guidance for living a satisfying and successful life.  I don’t think it is about expectations, rewards, punishment, or laws at all.  There is nothing to live up to, only the unfolding and becoming of our true selves made possible by the Spirit of Christ in our surrendered hearts bringing about the transformation.  This is the picture of the relationship God desires to have with us as we grow up in faith.
 

Even when God gave the law to the Israelites it was ultimately from mercy.  To my new eyes the Old Testament laws look like God spelling out the many ways a heart of love for self and others can wisely handle various situations of life and relationships.  An “uncircumcised” heart doesn’t see God’s heart – only a picture of control.  It receives Him that way and reacts.  But surrender to Christ gives us new eyes and a new heart to see God’s love and wisdom and His care.

everything stored in our files

It's the knowing of our hearts more than the information in our heads that makes a relationship what it is.  Our child-hearts are filled with experiences of all kinds before our minds are mature enough to understand or accurately interpret what the experiences mean.  Moreover, the conclusions we draw are influenced by the enemy who whispers lies to us.  Beliefs form and become part of the subconscious foundation of our souls.  There they contradict and sabotage our attempts to install Biblical truth.  So what are we to do?

One key to removing the obstacles to faith-filled obedience is the fact that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8) and that he does not live constrained by time as we do (John 8:58).  The Holy Spirit and Jesus working together help to make us aware of buried hurts and lies in order to heal them.  The memory remains, but the pain is taken away and unbiblical beliefs are replaced by the truth.  The truth in these instances does literally set us free. 

exposed roots

 If you have become stuck and find that something is blocking your experience of God’s love and the faith to see the fulfillment of His promises in your life, you can turn to Him as David did in Psalm 139:23-24.  Ask Him to search your heart, reveal your anxious thoughts and your hurt-filled ways, and ask Him to lead you into the way everlasting.  The process is not a quick fix, but the only path I know to true change of heart, mind, will and emotions. 

When I first prayed these verses, I was really afraid of what would happen.  I was afraid to know what was in my heart because of shame.  I was honestly afraid that I would die if I felt the pain buried in there so I had become an expert at denial and dissociating from my feelings.  I had hardened my heart to disappointment and therefore to hope; to rejection and therefore to love.  I felt unblessed even though in reality God was with me.  These lies guarded the strongholds that God wanted to take down.

the old ways are gone

Jesus quoted Isaiah 61 when he stood up to teach in the synagogue in his hometown (see Luke 4:16-19).  His anointing to bind up the brokenhearted, release prisoners from the darkness, proclaim freedom for the captives (of satan) and comfort those who mourn remains today.  That passage in Isaiah 61 goes on to paint the picture of what the obedience of faith leads to:

“…They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. 

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated;

They will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.”  Isaiah 61:3b-4

from a garden

And Isaiah 58;11-12 foretells what would happen for whosoever came to believe and receive God’s love in Jesus Christ  with an undivided heart:

 “The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”  And because our healing affects the way we live and relate to our children and the generations that follow, he foresees that   “Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Street with Dwellings."  Hope for the future of my children spurred me on many times in my healing process!

We can’t afford to be deceived about obedience.  What a lovely word when it flows out of a beautiful relationship!

Perfecting Holiness through Love

the sun setting on another day of grace

If you have been reading all my posts on God's love for us, I hope that you are taking it personally!  This love is the foundation of our relationship and if there is fear in it, we will not realize our potential in Christ - our personal destiny.  The world needs to see Christ in us, and know that he is real.  The Bible says they will know it by our love.

Describing our life in him as a branch connected to the vine, Jesus says  "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you."(John 15:9)  Love is our life source.  How can we doubt that it is always there for us, or think that it can depend on our good behavior?  It is the enemy who wants to plant those doubts.  God does not hold the threat of His displeasure over our heads for any reason.

fruit from the vine

Continuing in John 15:9-10, Jesus says "Now abide (or remain) in my love.  If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love".  I always heard that to mean that if I obeyed the law, I would be loved" but that's wrong.  That would contradict the rest of the Gospel - the whole New Covenant.  It means that if I heed what God tells me, I will continue to experience His love and not stray from the intimate loving fellowship I am meant to have with Him.  John continues to quote Jesus, "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."(15:11)  Jesus' joy was in being close to His Father, in obeying His Father totally and completely, enjoying their oneness.  The true motivation and the power for obedience is the joy of abiding fellowship, not fear.

imagine perfection...

We are meant to be the same way!  God wants joyful abiding fellowship with us, too.  God sent His son to open the way for it.  Jesus gave his life so we could join him in it!  This is so important and it is so easy to let it slip away.  We are loved.  We can know and enjoy God, our Father.  We can know and enjoy Jesus, our Brother and Bridegroom.  We can know and enjoy Holy Spirit, our Comforter and Counselor.  We cannot be fully alive in Jesus with our Father unless we let ourselves be loved fully and completely.

Because love is so often linked with our behavior in human relationships, it can be hard to understand that stressing God's love is not being soft on obedience.  Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 7:1 "Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."  A verse like that used to press down on me with the full force of the law.  I couldn't do it.  I didn't understand how radical grace really is, and I didn't understand how grace leads to obedience that flows from the heart.

everything askew

What if obedience begins with believing that God loves you and you do not ever have to be afraid?   I am seeing that temptation toward disobedience gets it's strength from our fear.  And fear feeds on doubt and unbelief.   It works like this:  If I am not sure that God loves me and takes care of me in every circumstance, I start taking things into my own hands.  Efforts to be in control lead to conflict with others who have their own agenda for control.   An insecure heart will take a self serving approach to relationships, becoming manipulative to meet its needs.  Fear leads to anger when a person feels threatened.  Without love's softening it becomes harder to forgive.  Idols spring up when something we do seems to work really well.   But think what can happen when we feel loved well enough to ignore the threats and accusations of our enemy who steals the joy of our salvation, and the security of our relationship with the Almighty God of the Universe - who is our good Father!

staying on that road that leads to life

No wonder the Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God. (Hebrews 11:6)  It takes faith to believe He loves us enough to let go and just surrender.  What a great day it was when I was able to see that surrender is not giving up in failure, but the only way to win the battles of the Christian life.  When I surrender my efforts, God can take over.  The Holy Spirit can fill the places I've held onto.  It takes faith to open up and receive His loving grace.  It takes faith to relinquish my trying to do it myself.  Surrender lets Christ do it through me, for he is the only one who can live the Christian life.

Of course seeing it and doing it were not necessarily the same thing.  It may not be so for everyone, but it took time for my desire to let go to become real surrender.  It is so simple, but can still be a long journey -- that of knowing God loves me.

(Next time I hope to write about overcoming the roadblocks to a surrendered and victorious life)

More on Love

life spilling over

Something very simple is becoming more and more real to me.  And the more real it becomes the more my faith grows.  What is it?  God loves me.

I can imagine a reader saying "You've written about that already!  Don't you have something new to write about?!"  But I have nothing new or more profound than this.  The more I see it, the more everything falls into place.

How much does it matter that we know how much God loves us?  I think we can forget how imperative it is to living an authentic Christian life.

Look at Jesus' relationship with His Father.  Jesus was a real man.  He had human emotions and thoughts and a will like ours.  I do not pretend to understand how Jesus' divinity and humanity worked together, but I believe that He had to depend on his relationship with his Father to live the supernatural life he led.  The Bible says he was tempted in every way as we are, but did not sin.  He was fully and vulnerably human, but he lived without sin.  My premise is that it was all about His relationship with his Father - because he knew how much he was loved.

wedding blossoms for His bride?

Jesus knew His Father.  He knew his Father was all good all the time, and that he was loved all the time.  Haven't you wondered how Jesus felt when he was lied about and plotted against and misunderstood at every turn?  How did he keep his joy (!) and compassion (!) and focus on his mission?  Why was the power always there to heal when he saw the needs?  It had to be rooted in the loving, trusting relationship he had with His Father.

I see the same thing with the apostle Paul.  There were frustrations and disappointments and opposition everywhere he went, but people were born of the Spirit and churches were planted.  Paul was able to love the unlovely and able to do miracles which backed up his claims about Jesus.  How can we ever have the same effective impact on our part of the hurting world unless we are also living out of that love?

creatures living with playful joy

God clearly commands us to love one another, to love Him, and to love even our enemies.  1 John 4:19 says "We love because he first loved us."  Verse 16 says "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us."  There is no way for us to become like Jesus, his true brothers and sisters, his true Bride, if we are not filled to overflowing with love!

The writer of those words, the apostle John, referred to himself as the one whom Jesus loved.  I think he really got it and is trying to help us get it too.  In the short book of 1 John he uses the word "love" 33 times (according to my count in Strong's concordance), and 42 times if you count "loved" and "loveth".  In chapter 4:18 it says "There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  How are we made perfect?  Is it fear of being disobedient and losing God's love?  Absolutely not! 

a reminder of His fiery passion

Your Father knows you totally and intimately and comprehensively.  He created you and chose to bring you to birth twice.  He is an expert on you and He is delighted with what He knows.  But it's more than that.  It is your faith in who Jesus is and what he did for you that pleases the Father.  He loves that you love His beloved Son.  He sees your life hidden in Christ (Colossians 3:3)  I don't care what you think is turning Him off about you -- it is not.  He loves you so much that you would blush if you saw it all at once.  At least that is how overwhelming a glimpse of it is to me!  Though we can never plumb the depths of God's immense love,  I believe the key to our journey beyond the narrow gate is that we are seeking to.